Stalking Spiders

Last weekend, you almost lost me.

I was almost attacked by a giant spider. 😯

I was walking around the farm looking for interesting things to take pictures of.  I almost walked into a spider web.

When I’m carrying my camera I’m looking at everything, large and small. When I came upon this thing suspended in mid-air.


It is a bug of some sort (maybe a cricket), partially woven in spider web.

I began to pay attention to the web itself. It was huge.  It went from a tree limb, just over my head, to the ground and back to the tree trunk.

I decided that someone might be walking along and not notice this web and walk right into it. Like I said, since I was carrying my camera I was paying attention to every minor detail.

So, I began to take it down, one strand at a time. I released the last strand and the web fell to the ground. As I stood there observing the web and thanking myself for tearing it down…….

Cause you know, I would be the one who would forget about it and walk into it.

Anyway, while I was standing there, I heard something move in the tree limb and this huge spider dropped down to my eye level.


He was just hanging there, leering.

He was mad and it was obvious.

Almost daring me to take a step.


And you know I started snapping pictures.

All the while, making sure that he didn’t lunge toward me.

Now you know, if I hadn’t had my camera and hadn’t been paying close attention, I would have walked right into this web.

And while I stood there, complaining, and removing the sticky web from my person….

that huge spider would have dropped down right on my head. 😯

Three things would have happened, I would have stripped down right then and there, like I did before.

Because, like snakes, I DON’T DO SPIDERS!

And due to the fear I would be experiencing, and the over exertion in this heat of trying to rid myself of this monster,

I would have had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the grass.

Then, I would have been woven tightly in spider web and drug to a secret location and that spider would have called all his buddies over to show off his prize capture.

Now, aren’t you glad I was paying close attention?

I know you would have been sad and confused when I came up missing.

You would miss me, right? 😥

Seriously, does anyone know what kind of spider this is?

Cause if it’s poisonous, I need to put on my camo gear and go hunting.

After I told The Captain about my near death experience and showed him the picture, he told me he’d seen the same spider, in the same area, when he was mowing the day before. He even tore down the web cause it was in his way.

I tell you, this spider is after big game.

So the spider is not a new comer to the farm. He’s here to stay.

I’m already fearful of stalking cows that may find their way to the farm.

I don’t have time to worry about stalking spiders, too! 😉

Here’s a poll for ya…

(just cause I haven’t added one for awhile)


20 comments on “Stalking Spiders

  1. YIKES!! Spiders make me run screaming for help. When I was growing up- Huge spiders would build make their webs under the eaves of our house-on the corners. I always dreaded walking by them-and one day going to hang out clothes for Granny I thought one got on me. I screamed and run around the yard until everyone came out to see what was killing me. The spider was still in it’s web.

  2. Ewwwww!!!! I hate spiders too! Especially the really fast ones that scurry away before you can whop them!
    I bet your nightmares involve that bull from the rodeo that chased you with a spider sitting on his shoulder! They’re coming for you! 🙂

  3. I would miss you terribly… my goodness I have never seen a spider like that unbelievable I would have died. I saw my first black widow ever in my life in my carport right outside my door right after hurricane katrina scared me to death…because that is where the kids had been playing! I am always checking now. By the way I have that old song in my head now thanks to you ” I don’t like spiders and snakes” and that ain’t what it takes to love me…LOL

  4. He is a garden spider, frightfully big and very beneficial to your garden. They can get rid of quite a few unwanted bugs. No they are not poisonous and yes they do give me the hee bee gee bees but I leave them alone and their webs, those are a lot of work; because they can take out beetles and other leaf eating ravenous garden destructo pests. They are OK.
    And that one picture of him just hanging there looking at you could win a prize some where, AWESOME!!

  5. I’m like you… I don’t do spiders. period. If they are in my home they are gonna go see Jesus and weave their webs in heaven. Outside, if they are in a traffic area I figure they have a death wish and so I will help them with it. Other than that, I stay as far away as I can from them.

    And I would have missed you terribly. You can’t go having a naked heart attack and dying from a spider scaring you until after we get to meet in person… and then I know I wouldn’t want to lose my friend for sure.


  6. Ms. Fencepost…I had a difficult time voting on your poll. I was stuck between leaving the spider as is and voting that you are a chicken!!! LOL!!!!!

    Spiders do not bother me…things that sliver on the ground without legs…uh, yeah…creeps me out.

    Loved your post…you nut!

  7. that is a very scary spider! I’ve had a few of those in my berry patch before and they scared me to death. I say have the Captain find it and kill it before it causes you to have a heart attack.

  8. Well now there’s several things you have to think about first, was the web close to the house? If not, I would have left it alone and told the others to watch out for it and not to walk into the web.

    Now if that baby was in the house, he would have been SQUASHED BIG TIME. I’m not a spider lover. When I was small and would stay at my Grandmother’s for some reason it seemed I was always getting spider bites, and they would swell up something terrible. Had to be spiders, because it would be cold weather.

    Time to start supper/dinner. Have a nice evening.

  9. Becky: I’m sorry you got that bad information from Karen on the spider. The actual common name of the spider is the Greencowsnake Jumping Spider. It is a monster and can suck you dry in 45 minutes after you are down. They do wrap you in a web that you can’t escape. It’s venom makes you delirious and you start to see cows jumping all through your brain. If that isn’t bad enough, it works in conjunction with a green poisonous snake that reaches Twenty Five foot long. Hence the derivation of the name. It’s scientific name is oliveous reptileous bovinius. This can be very easily verified on google. Good luck the next time you see it. You need to remember all of this info on your next camera expedition. I would miss you so be careful, be very careful. Forget the camouflage, they have excellent eyesight.

  10. I’d be mad if you tore my house down, too! ;o)
    I don’t mind spiders outside. We have a deal. Stay out there, we’re cool. Come in my house or car, you’re dead.
    Snakes are a whole ‘nother story….they should be banished from earth.

  11. LMAO @ fishing guy’s comment! The spider…Don’t think I would have the nerve to try to squash it! Would have ran all the way home screaming GGGGEEEENNNNEEERRRAAALLL DDDDD! lol Yuck

  12. GREAT story! I’ve never seen a spider like that. A bit scary, but if the web was at all organized, I would have been hunting your GRASSHOPPERS and putting them into the web just to watch the spider wrap them up! (Are we still friends after that?)

  13. Pingback: Giant Trap « Twisted Fencepost

  14. I can’t help it, I had to follow all the links and read some history. That dude is creepy looking. I’m sure my 10 year old would have been on the internet finding out what almost ate you.

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