Let Sleeping Boyfriends Lie!

Not long after The Captain and I started dating, I walked off my job. Due to an over friendly supervisor.  That was on a Monday.

The Captain worked at a job, that when it rained, he didn’t work.

On Wednesday, it was raining, he was off early. I was spending my day cleaning house.

When he came to visit, I was cleaning the bathroom. Yee haw, my favorite thing to do. I was almost finished, he decided to lay on my bed and rest while I finished up.

About 5 minutes later, feeling a little onery, I jumped on the bed strattling him.

Now picture this…

He was lying on the made up bed on his back, his right arm across his eyes, to block out the light.

Me, quietly entering the room, a flying leap onto the now sleeping boyfriend, strattling him.

His arm came flying down to see what was happening to him in his groggy state. Striking me, with the elbow, right between the eyes, and down the bridge of my nose.

I was knocked silly for a few seconds, my head fell down across his shoulder. When I composed myself, I started laughing.

I mean, afterall, it was funny.

When I raised my head up and looked at him, you should’ve seen the concern, or maybe it was sheer terror, on his face.

I had immediately developed a rather large purple knot, right between my eyes. He led me downstairs to get some ice.

All the time I was still laughing.

 He was not.

He could see the knot that I had no idea had developed. I couldn’t figure out why he had that look on his face. You know the one that is thinking, “Should I take her to the ER or not?”

The picture below was taken the day after. Sorry for the quality of the pic, obviously I didn’t take it.

That’s not the end of the story, though.

The next day, I went for a job interview, explaining before I arrived that I would be wearing sunglasses, due to the fact that I now had two black eyes.

Oh, yeah, he got me good.

I’m a pretty easy to talk to person, so it didn’t take long for the two people who interviewed me to ask, “What happened to you?” After explaining what had transpired the day before, they had a good laugh.

I was hired on the spot and returned the next day, Friday, for my first day of work. By this time, I really looked horrible.

You know, it is funny, when a girl has a black eye, no one will ask what happened. They just talk amongst themselves and make uneducated guesses.

Nor, will they look you in the eye when they talk to you. They look to the side or above your head, but rarely will they look you in the eye. I was very self conscious, having two black eyes, but it was comical. I would talk to people just to get them to look at me.

About two years later, that subject came up at work. I worked in the service department of a major dealership. In other words, with a bunch of guys. They had come to the conclusion that I was in a bar room brawl. Figures!

After a few trips to the grocery store and the like, The Captain quit going inside with me. He sat outside and waited. He was tired of getting dirty looks from strangers that assumed he was physically abusing me. That was funny to me, too. Watching the people staring at me, and then giving him dirty looks. And he, with his shoulders back and chest puffed out, thinking to himself, just let them say something and they’ll be the next one with a black eye.

Then there was the first time the parents saw me with the shiners. It had been explained to both before I arrived, so they knew what to expect.

His parents, knowing that he would never hit a girl or he would deal with their wrath. When I walked in the door, his Mother immediately bursted out in laughter. His Dad only had a grin. Although, I know inside he was cracking up.

My parents were a different story. Knowing the abusive marriage I had left a few years before weren’t quite as forgiving at first. My Mom snickered a little. Although, I know she was a little concerned I was walking back into a similar situation I had just left. Statistics show that happens regularly. But not in my case. I learn from my mistakes!!

My Dad was not amused. When we walked in he was not looking at me, he had a big smile and a “Hey, come on in the house!” When he looked at me, it wiped the smile right off his face. It was hilarious! That was the last time he looked at me during that visit.

Speaking of learning my lessons…

I have learned to let sleeping dogs (or boyfriends) lie!!!

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5 comments on “Let Sleeping Boyfriends Lie!

  1. That IS funny, but oh my goodness what a mess you had to deal with because of it. I can’t imagine all the stares of pity and horror. Good thing you had a good sense of humor to go with it. And or course, you really did deserve it. OK, sort of. Maybe not so drastic, but what can you expect when you jump in the middle of a sleeping man?

  2. You have a great sense of humor. I fell one time and experienced that same thing of people not looking you in the face when they talk to you. I couldn’t figure it out for a while, but I really did look bad. They knew mine was from a bike wreck so I didn’t have to field questions about my husband, thank goodness. 🙂 blessings, marlene

  3. Wow! I guess you should let sleeping boyfriends lie. I hear you though. Just when we were moving to a new town my middle daughter was hit in the eye with a wooden chair while playing with her brother. It gave her a hug black eye and it coincided with the time I was looking for housing. You would not believe the stares people gave me. It made me feel like I had punched her in the eye. Terrible feeling but funny as well, the assumptions people make without ever asking.

  4. Man he did get you good! It is kinda comical. But I can see why the Captain felt so bad about it. My hubby hit me in his sleep one time-he was dreaming about fighting somebody-and it turned out to be me! But didn’t leave any marks-just made me mad that he woke me up.

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