I’ve Been Invaded!

I love spring!

But I don’t like some of the things that come with it.

Ants, in particular!

They are driving me crazy!

All it takes is one little scout to find a crumb and he brings in the whole $!*#% family.

Not just ants. Red, biting, little annoying pests.

In WV, where I’m from, we had ants, army ants, piss ants and sugar ants. But not red ants. Not biting ants. They won’t go away.

Every year we battle. For the last 3 years!

They are determined to take up residence in my home.

They come in and take over my kitchen. They eat my food. They don’t leave a tip. And they get mad and bite if I say anything. Like its theirs to have.

No matter how much I clean. They keep coming.

I spray. They just find another place to come in.

I suck them up in the vacuum cleaner.

They come in everywhere. The kitchen. The laundry room. The bathroom. Our closets.

Places where there is no food or water.

I’ve had to remove everything from closets. I put the clothes in the dryer to rid them of their new found creepy crawlers. I put the other things outside in the heat of the sun to make them go away. Then I spray the closet. Then they’re gone. Until, they find another place to explore.

They are gonna drive me to drinking!

 I hate bugs of any kind. Especially in my house.

I don’t go outside and invade their homes. Why do they think they must invade mine?

You’d think they’d take a hint. But, oh no!

I have walked around the outside of my house sprinkling ant killer, seven dust and everything else that someone has suggested. Nothing helps.

Everyday, I am vacuuming up dead ant piles and battling a new batallion. They lose a million of their army to my vacuum cleaner, they regroup and come back meaner than ever.

They are everywhere outside. I can’t walk outside without getting bit. I can’t clean my pool without getting bit. I sprinkle the stuff that’s supposed to get rid of them. I water it down. Following the directions to the tee. They just move to another spot in the yard.

It’s a curse, I tell you!

Does anyone have any suggestions?

How do I get these #!%& ants outta my house? And outta my yard!


Before they carry me away!